next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
