It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
