very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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