I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
