But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
