smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
