Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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