I wanna bring you to show and tell
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
