She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
