sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
