So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize