There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
