This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
