I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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