So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize