Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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