none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
