She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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