Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
