one two three fourrrrnication!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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