sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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