Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
