I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
