If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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