So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
