my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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