ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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