dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
