Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
