How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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