True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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