why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
