She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
