What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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