i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
