FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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