jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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