For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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