my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
