Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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