Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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