I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
