Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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