dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
