can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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