Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
