She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
