Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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