Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
