doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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