oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
