I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
