before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will pee on everything he values.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
