Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
