Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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