i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
