I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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