he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
