how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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