I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize