she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
