i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
