New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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