I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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