i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
