Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
